It’s April! Have Some Cheesy Goodness…

April is special and I’m not just saying that because April Fool’s Day, Friday the 13th and Earth day are all inhabitants of this fantastic Spring month. I’m saying that because, above all else, April is National Grilled Cheese Sandwich Month. (Meanwhile, I’d like to personally thank whomever had the foresight to designate an entire month in honor of this special cheesy delicacy. )

To state the obvious: I’m Grilled Cheese’s number one fan. Spongy bread enveloping gooey Kraft Singles makes my heart go pitter pat. There’s nothing like a little GC to get over a bad day, a crushing heartbreak, a wicked cold, and most importantly, a nasty hangover. Not to mention I lived off those little cheesy devils for four years in college. Greasy little suckers.

Therefore, I was completely devastated to learn I had missed my chance to attend the 4th 2nd Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational on February 24th in LA.

Those lucky enough to take part in this groundbreaking tradition were welcomed with the following mission:

“While anyone is welcome to sign up and compete, only the few, the proud, the winners will be able to raise their cheese and butter speckled fists to the angry sky above and scream, ‘I am a Fucking Grilled Cheese Champion™!’”

Wow.  That gave me more goosebumps than the Braveheart speech.

After perusing some first-hand accounts of this year’s event, including one from the participating team, Cheesus Christ, I came across a description that will change my life forever. By the grace of God, one incredibly talented baker took it upon herself to create a “three-tier wedding cake made of over seventy grilled-cheese sandwiches, ‘iced’ with Mother Nature’s perfect food, E-Z Cheeze, and topped with a Peep bride & groom.”

I just teared up a little with overwhelming pride. Here’s hoping this Grilled Cheese Maestro is available in the Fall of ‘08 for the infamous (and never to be forgotten) Memos Wedding.

Because nothing says I love you like a little cheesy goodness…

 

Watch Out Vera Wang, There’s a New Kid in Town…

Since I now have a big rock on the ring finger of my left hand, I think it’s time I start some wedding planning. One thing I’m looking forward to most is finding my perfect wedding dress. What will be my first bridal shop stop? Certainly not Vera Wang. I’m going to Disney World! According to Luxist, Disney will soon be releasing a new line of princess-inspired wedding dresses for all you brides-to-be.

According to The Orlando Sentinel, Disney has “developed a line of ethereal gowns that pay homage to Cinderella, Jasmine, Snow White, Ariel and Sleeping Beauty.”

This is fantastic news, given that I’ve always dreamed of (gulp) looking like this on my wedding day:

(Cue fabulous “Little Mermaid” song, “Part of Your World” now please.)

But the more I think about it, the more I realize my hour-glass figure and long hair lends itself well to this pants-and-a-bikini-top style:

Or maybe I’ll just reserve these Disney-inspired dresses for my bridesmaids…you gals won’t mind, right?

Why I Love The Caballeros’ Cajones…

With wedding season lingering in the distance, I would like to dedicate my Tuesday Tirade to the Caballeros, an incredibly intelligent husband and wife team who did the following, according to Reuters:

“Fed up with spending too many weekends going to weddings, an Argentine couple took out a paid announcement on the social pages of a major newspaper expressing their desire for some social neglect. ‘We thank you ahead of time for understanding this petition, which is due to our saturated social calendar,’ read the ad in La Nacion.”

Wow. The Caballeros have some serious cajones, don’t they? As a newly engaged bridezilla-to-be, I certainly understand how life can be all about weddings. But having a bethrothal every single weekend is enough for anyone to feel the need to become a Wedding Ditcher.

Even better is Adolfo Caballeros’ explanation of why he’s opting out of being a frequent wedding day participant: “It’s fun for youngsters who want to dance until 5 a.m. … but the next day I’m tired and I can’t move when I want to go play tennis.” C’mon Adolfo. Isn’t that just a really nice way of saying, “Sometimes post wedding hangovers are truly sucktastic???” ‘Tis true…celebrating love can be truly exhausting…but doesn’t this just look a f’ing good time??

Which leads me to believe my idea of serving guacomole jello shots at my wedding is still a good one….note to self: don’t rule that out just yet.

 

Are You A Fan of the Hoff? (And Other Critical Pre-Marital Questions…)

I admit it. I read the NYTimes Wedding Announcements each Sunday when they come out. I’ve been reading them since I was in highschool. It’s not really that I’m a romantic…it’s more that I like to find the most ridiculous “how we fell in love” stories and then make fun of them. Because of this, I’m obviously a huge fan of Veiled Conceit.

Anyway, while I was reading it the other week, I happened upon an article titled, “Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had Before Marrying).” Very illuminating, I must say. Yes, some of the questions were rather obvious, like “Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?” Others were a bit more surprising, like “Will there be a television in the bedroom?” and “What does my family do that annoys you?” P.S. – who in their right mind would answer that latter one honestly????

Although many of the questions that were included in the article were very important, ie: firming up agreements on finances, family, spirtuality, blah blah before you get hitched…there were some extremely critical questions that were left out. Among them were:

• “If I ask for a backrub, do I have to return the favor?”
• “Have you ever watched any TV show on the Hallmark Network? If so, why the hell would you do that?”
• “Are you a dog or a cat person? Regardless, are you one of those people that likes to dress up their pets? Again, why the hell would you do that?”
• “What’s your ideal thermostat setting? Are you one of those weirdos that likes to be hot when they fall asleep?”
• “If you had to choose sides, which team would you be on…Team Aniston or Team Jolie? If you choose Team Jolie, can you handle getting your ass kicked?”
• “Would you be willing to have one of those ‘top five’ lists where if either of us happened to meet one of our top five celebrity crushes, we would be allowed to have sex with them even if we were married?”
• “If we ever have kids and they happen to be twins, would you ever want to dress them up in matching sailor outfits?”
• And most importantly… “Are you a fan of the Hoff?”

In case you’re wondering, the #1 celeb on my “Top Five” list is Jen. Obvi.  (And yes, my boyfriend’s fine with it.)