Why I Love Jen

It’s Tuesday, and you know what THAT means… it’s my second least favorite day of the week apart from, of course, sucky Monday. To brighten up everyone’s Tuesdays from now on, I’ll be providing you with either a “Love” or “Loathe” list every week on Tuesday. Why? Because it’s my blog and you’re not the boss of me.

That said, I see only one way to begin this new tradition. And this, of course, is to pay homage to my imaginary BFF, Jen. So with that, I give you the top reasons…

WHY I LOVE JENNIFER ANISTON:

1) Her hair. Duh.

2) She’s classy, people. Yeah, she’s gotten some flack for incorporating too much black into her wardrobe, but do you know what wearing all black means? It means you’re CLASSY. (Note: please do not confuse Classy with Goth…there’s an extreme difference there).

3) She’s dignified. Despite going through very public breakups with both Brad Pitt and Vince Vaughn, Jen remains composed and unscathed. Not once has she bad-mouthed her exes (a popular technique among Hollywood Celebs and High Schoolers). I’m similar to Jen in this way in that most of my ex-boyfriends are complete f’ing @#@#&#$&*, but I never say that out loud.

4) She likes margaritas. In fact, Jen likes margaritas so much, she was rumored to go out for Mexican food three times a week with her ex, Brad, to imbibe in some tequila candy and guacamole. Smart, smart lady.

5) She’s an Aquarius. OMG…so am I!!!!

6) She’s ten years older than me, but the b*tch looks ten years younger than me.

7) Her hair. Duh.

8 ) She seems real. Jen comes across as having an actual sense of humor and real human feelings…she’s not untouchable or plastic like…ohhhh, I don’t know… Angelina Homewrecker Jolie.

9) She’s crafty. A long time ago, Jen dated Counting Crows rocker, Adam Durtiz, and must’ve figured out at some point in their relationship how to put her hands through his hair. One word: talent.

Jen, you’re the bestest. Let’s grab soy lattes sometime this week and treat ourselves to manis and pedis.

Wiis & Whoppers

For the last six weeks, my determined and perservering boyfriend has been on a relentless hunt for a Nintendo Wii. He’s searched far and wide, called every Best Best, Circuit City and Game Stop in the Rocky Mountain area, and spoken to numerous fellow-gamers about best strategies on obtaining this gaming system. This is not some casual errand-running…his efforts have touched 35 stores in the Denver metropolitan area. We’re talking major leagues here.

Today, I was feeling lucky so I accompanied him in his search. We hit up the Best Buy on Colorado Blvd as well as the Game Stop. If we had actually gotten the Wii today, you probably would’ve heard about it by now. Needless to say, we came back empty-handed, but not beaten.

At this point you’re probably thinking, “why is she so supportive of this game-playing thing? Aren’t girlfriends supposed to loathe Xboxes, Playstations, and the like?” Good question, but I’m completely behind my boyfriend’s passion for video games. Why? Because it’s making him smarter. Or at least that’s what Steven Johnson argues in his book, “Everything Bad is Good for You: How Today’s Popular Culture is Actually Making Us Smarter.”

Johnson asserts:

“For decades, we’ve worked under the assumption that mass culture follows a path declining steadily toward lowest-common-denominator standards, presumably because the ‘masses” want dumb, simple pleasures and big media companies try to give the masses what they want. .. To make sense of an episode of ‘24,’ you have to integrate far more information than you would have a few decades ago watching a comparable show. Beneath the violence and the ethnic stereotypes, another trend appears: to keep up with entertainment like ‘24,’ you have to pay attention, make inferences, track shifting social relationships. This is what I call the Sleeper Curve: the most debased forms of mass diversion — video games and violent television dramas and juvenile sitcoms — turn out to be nutritional after all.”

I like your arguement, Steven. I expect to hear a similar study coming from you regarding the health benefits of Whoppers, macaroni and cheese, and guacamole in the new year. I envision the book titled, “Don’t Feel Guilty for Cleaning Your Plate and Asking for Seconds: How The Highest Caloric Foods in Our Society Are Shrinking Your Thighs.”

(Smart man….)

Warms Your Heart, Doesn’t It?

It’s currently blizzarding in Colorado, and as I sit here…staring out at the snowy mountains… I can’t help but smile when I read a story like this, courtesy of Reuters:

“BERLIN (Reuters) – German police arrested a man for drunk driving after he mistook a police spot check for a breakdown and stopped to help.

Officers inspecting a car by the roadside suspected the 37-year-old passing motorist was under the influence of alcohol when he lurched from his vehicle to offer assistance, police in the northwestern town of Bremen said Friday.”

Who knew Mel Gibson was vacationing in Germany over the holidays?

Did Anyone Ever Tell You You Look Like (Insert Annoying Celebrity Here)?

So the other day…at a wedding, no less…a man came up to me and told me I looked like Meredith Gray on Gray’s Anatomy. Before I go any further, let’s examine the evidence:

The supposed compliment went something like this: “You guys have such similar coloring! And your hair is EXACTLY alike! Has anyone else ever told you you look like her?? Really, it’s uncanny.”

Fact: Our hair is a tad similar in length and cut.

Fact: We both have stunningly gorgeous eyes.

Fact: I might slighlty resemble Meredith if I went on a lemon and cayenne pepper fast for two weeks and dropped 30 LBs.

Fact: On the show, Meredith is extremely annoying.

All of these facts bring me to the following question: was this really a compliment? When I told a friend about the exchange, her first reaction was to wince. Yes, wince. “Really? He really said you look like Meredith Gray??? Wow.” I guess that answers that question.

So next time you think a friend, acquaintance, coworker or family member looks like a celebrity, think before you let them know. It might not be taken as a compliment. (Don’t even get me started on the time I was told I resembled Tipper Gore. Sweet jesus.)

Note to Self: I sincerely hope this rant doesn’t dissuade anyone from telling me I look like Jennifer Aniston…or the incredible similarities between our hairstyles. I love you, Jen. Call me.