The Wheels on The Google Bus Go, “Aren’t you Jealous?”

I know I’ve written about this before…and maybe I’m a little bit obsessed…but I just can’t help it. Just in time for St. Patrick’s Day, let’s all get a little green with envy hearing about the continued perks of being a Google employee.

The New York Times ran yet another article this past weekend about the pure awesomeness of this employer…this time describing the free shuttle service the company offers to its employees who live in communities surrounding the main Google office in Mountain View, California. The Times writes:

“The company now ferries about 1,200 employees to and from Google daily — nearly one-fourth of its local work force — aboard 32 shuttle buses equipped with comfortable leather seats and wireless Internet access. Bicycles are allowed on exterior racks, and dogs on forward seats, or on their owners’ laps if the buses run full.”

Hot damn, that’s cool. Reading Perez Hilton on your commute while your tired tushy rests on a luxurious leather seat? I bet these shuttles even have that new car smell.

And while riding on this joyous Google bus, there’s no stress about getting stuck, after a hard day’s work, next to that annoying coworker who’s shouting loudly into her cell phone about her last Pap Smear. Why? Becuase there’s actually RULES on this bus:

“Inside, most riders appeared to abide by the shuttle’s etiquette rules. Cellphone conversations are allowed if they are work-related and sotto voce. But loud personal calls are definitely out. In fact, except for a couple snuggled together, no one sat on adjacent seats. Many took out iPods or laptops and worked, surfed the Web or watched videos.”

Meanwhile, I think I know that girl in the front row with the Burberry scarf on. She looks awfully similar to an old college classmate of mine. I’m looking up her alumni email address now… “Dear Fellow Alum, I think you used to sit next to me in Pych 102. I hear you work for Google now. Hook that shit up, yo. Resume attached.”

 

 

Me + Google = 4Eva

 

 

So I think somebody at Google read my blog yesterday. (Okay, maybe not…but let’s just pretend). Because yet again, my trusty New York Times wrote a fascinating article today about Google’s new method of weeding through the thousands of job applications it receives each month. In pure Google fashion, the company has developed an algorithm that calculates the compatibility between the candidate and the company, based on the job seekers answers to a set of pre-determined questions.

Just for the hell of it (and because I want to work for Google), I’ve put myself to the test and taken a stab at answering some of the questions they give potential hires. Take a gander and see if I make the cut:

Google: Have you ever made a profit from a catering business or dog walking?
Me: Does an extremely successful lemonade stand one summer in Nantucket count?

Google: Do you prefer to work alone or in groups?
Me: Depends on the group…hahahah, just kidding (not really).

Google: Have you ever set a world record in anything?
Me: I believe I’ve been hit in the head with an out-of-bounds ball at various sporting events more than any other person I know. I guess that means I stand out from the crowd…or have extremely sh*tty luck.

Google: Have you ever established a nonprofit organization?
Me: Umm, I work at one…and I’m kicking ass and taking names. How’s that?

Google: When did you first get excited about computers?
Me: When Atari came out – and that was like, in the early 80s. Call me an early adopter.

Google: What programming languages are you familiar with?
Me: Sanskrit

Did I pass? Did I pass?

My favorite quote of the article is at the very end, when Google’s vice president for people operations, Laszlo Bock, admits, “Last week we hired six people who had below a 3.0 G.P.A.s.”

Laszlo, buddy…I was way above a 3.0 in college (but I can be below that if you need me to). Call me. I’m available for hire immediately. Did I mention I’ll work for free? I’m not embarassed to be the oldest intern at Google…really I’m not.  There are worse things an intern can be…

(Ahem, Monica…would you care to explain yourself???)

Give Me the Google Life

(image courtesy of the New York Times)

Googlers have it good. After reading about the employee lifestyle at the company’s new office in Manhattan, I couldn’t help but think, “Please god, give me the Google life.” According to the New York Times, the team at NYC’s Google office enjoys a variety of perks, including (but not limited to):

• A FREE sushi bar and espresso station
• Private phone booths for personal calls
• Showers and lockers for anyone running or biking to work
• Thursday afternoon Happy Hours called “Thank God It’s Almost Friday”
• Stock options dating from before Google’s initial public offering in August 2004
• And last but not least….custom-made trans fat-free ice-cream sandwiches!!!!! Does it get any better????? (And I thought free soda at my current job was a step-up…)

As one employee put it, working at Google is like living the “academic life all over again…But I’m getting paid. This is a 100 percent better option than graduate school.” Ummm, where do I sign up?

Speaking of Google, the only way to fittingly end this post is to leave you with the following quote from the President regarding THE Google. (I know it’s old news, but really…it’s priceless):

GEORGE W: “One of the things I’ve used on the Google is to pull up maps. It’s very interesting to see — I’ve forgot the name of the program — but you get the satellite, and you can — like, I kinda like to look at the ranch. It reminds me of where I wanna be sometimes.”

Awww, shucks.