My Search for a Real Genius

I love my readers. Why? Because they’re smarties.

A lot of you have already emailed me about my latest blog feature, offering up some hysterical suggestions – and for that, I love you. For those of you who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about… take a gander at the right side of the page and you’ll see what I like to call my new “Enlightening Quote of the Week” feature. Basically, I just wanted to give you all yet another reason to check back frequently and visit us here at Sticky Notes. Each week, I’ll be posting yet another meaningful movie and/or TV quote that has somehow touched me.

The inaugural quote currently showcased is dedicated to my brother who introduced me to the hilarity of the movie “Real Genius” when we were kids. If you have yet to see this movie, I must first ask you what the hell you were doing in 1985…then I must tell you to go Netflix it immediately. It’s a real comic gem and worth prioritizing in your queue over “Happy Feet.” It also features a young, virile Val Kilmer pre “Top Gun” who, in the movie, sports some of the best tee-shirts around.

Speaking of teeshirts, I’ll think about sending you one if you submit the funniest movie quote in your comments. Yes, I’m asking for audience participation here. If you come up with the most uproarious, side-splitting, I just had coffee come out of my nostrils quote, I’ll possibly sending you one of the following duds. C’mon…don’t you want to walk around on a Sunday with one of these beauties on??? (Okay, maybe not. But it’s the thrill of victory, right?)

PS – if you don’t get the teeshirt on the top left, we need to have a talk….because that movie, my dear friends, made me what I am today.

“Lu-cas! Lu-cas! Lu-cas!”

Hot Pockets: I Like Them…Stop Kidding Yourself, You Like Them Too

At this point, I think we know each other well enough for me to let you in on a little secret. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s something you should know. I like Hot Pockets.

More specifically, I like Lean Pockets…and everything Lean Pockets represent. This includes the little cardboard sleeve they come in, the smell that emenates from your microwave when you’re nuking them, their flaky breaded shell that crumbles against your fork, and the vast array of flavors available at your local grocery store’s frozen food aisle. There’s nothing like a little Ham & Cheese LP to get me through a tough day at work. This is something I just thought you should know.

And hey, those little pastry pockets aren’t too bad for you either. Admittedly, when I look at the ingredient list of a Lean Pocket, I can’t say that I’m familiar with “modified food starch, dried whey and palm kernel oil,” but hell – that little delicious puppy only has 280 calories. Meat and cheese wrapped in a Poptart? Delightful.

But there are risks associated with Hot Pocket consumption. I know this and Jim Gaffigan knows this. So with that, I give you the following important safety announcement regarding Hot Pockets. Please take this seriously, you fellow Pocket fans. (I know you’re out there.) And remember: PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER MICROWAVED. I can never remember that damn part.

Hoooooot Poooockettttt!

Life on a Vineyard…It’s a Bitch

Have a case of the Wednesdays? I sure as hell do. So to give us all a much-needed laugh, I’ve decided to post an honest to god segment from an Atlanta newscast that I’ve probably watched… ohhhh, about fifty times.  The video needs no introduction…it speaks for itself.

Chilly, this is for you. Happy Bday, baby.

Life on a vineyard…it’s a bitch.