BeThree…The Filet of Websites

The good news? I’m not dead. The bad news? Britney Spears is still not wearing underwear and Mary Kate Olsen has snuck her way into one of my favorite TV shows, “Weeds.” It’s a travesty.

Anyway, I know you’ve missed me and if you’re looking for someone to blame for my absence, blame BeThree – a fantastic website that you should all go visit immediately. Actually, sign up. If you do, you’ll be on the same list as Jennifer Aniston and Kate Hudson, both of whom have also decided to sign up for BeThree because they love it THAT much. *

* Okay, this is a slight fabrication…but if these two actually knew about the site, they’d have signed up already.  That said, I’m emailing them now…

Do You Love Me $1,000,000 Worth?

Happy birthday to:

Toni Morrison (one of my favorite authors of all time)

John Travolta (Do you watch that Grease reality show that’s on these days, John? I bet you do…)

Vanna White (I’ve got nothin’ to say on this one)

Molly Ringwald (Molly, I loved you in the 80’s…you scare me now)

….and oh…. me!

If you still haven’t gotten me a bday gift, here’s an idea for ya. PopSugar’s reporting that you can now buy Britney’s hair from the salon where she shaved it off herself. The current bid is $1,001,500. Ummm, shouldn’t that be offered at a discounted rate since 75% of her hair were extensions???

Like Britney, I’ve gone a bit overboard this weekend celebrating my birthday with famous friends, flowing champagne and hair cuts. Therefore, this party girl is hittin’ the hay…

Why I Hate Sucktastic People and How You Can Spot Them

Is there something in the air these days? I don’t know what’s going on, but people seem to have a propensity to suck this week. Therefore, today’s Tuesday’s Tirade is dedicated to all the sucktastic people I’ve had the displeasure of dealing with recently.

Disclaimer: I by no means deny being completely sucktastic at certain points in my life…namely, in my early teen years. And for that – Mom, Dad, Bro – I’m truly sorry. If it’s any consolation, during my sucktastic years, I was walking around with hair like this:

And so I give you…Why I Hate Sucktastic People and How You Can Spot Them:

• Sucktastic people don’t say “God bless you” when you sneeze, even when you are always saying it to them.
• Sucktastic people think they know everything there is to know about you, without having a clue of who you really are and where you’ve come from.
• Sucktastic people don’t tip. (Ahem…Paris and Britney, I’m talking to YOU.)
• Sucktastic people (and by people, I mean bartenders) give you attitude when you order fruity drinks at the bar. Ummm, if a girl wants a Zima, give the woman a damn Zima! Or a Blueberry Press…my new fav.
• Sucktastic people cut you off when you’re waiting for the treadmill at the gym, then program a two hour-long session on said machine.
• Sucktastic people root for Team Jolie (haha – just jokin’. No I’m not. Yes I am.)
• Sucktastic people pretend they’re better than you when we all know it’s just because their jealous.
• Sucktastic people don’t rewind VHS videos after renting them. (Okay, I know this a shout out to the early ’90s, but didn’t that truly suck when you rented a video and you had to rewind it before you could even watch it???)
• Sucktastic people blame you for hating their job.
• Sucktastic people know they suck, they’re just too afraid to admit it.

And with all that sucktastic venting out of the way, I’m off to bed. Here’s hoping to dreams filled with bunnies, rainbows, and chubby cupids in anticipation of Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

PS – If you are a daily reader of this blog, you are (obviously) the complete opposite of sucktastic. And if I’m missing anything that you think is truly sucktastic, feel free to leave a comment below…