My Search for a Real Genius

I love my readers. Why? Because they’re smarties.

A lot of you have already emailed me about my latest blog feature, offering up some hysterical suggestions – and for that, I love you. For those of you who have no idea what the hell I’m talking about… take a gander at the right side of the page and you’ll see what I like to call my new “Enlightening Quote of the Week” feature. Basically, I just wanted to give you all yet another reason to check back frequently and visit us here at Sticky Notes. Each week, I’ll be posting yet another meaningful movie and/or TV quote that has somehow touched me.

The inaugural quote currently showcased is dedicated to my brother who introduced me to the hilarity of the movie “Real Genius” when we were kids. If you have yet to see this movie, I must first ask you what the hell you were doing in 1985…then I must tell you to go Netflix it immediately. It’s a real comic gem and worth prioritizing in your queue over “Happy Feet.” It also features a young, virile Val Kilmer pre “Top Gun” who, in the movie, sports some of the best tee-shirts around.

Speaking of teeshirts, I’ll think about sending you one if you submit the funniest movie quote in your comments. Yes, I’m asking for audience participation here. If you come up with the most uproarious, side-splitting, I just had coffee come out of my nostrils quote, I’ll possibly sending you one of the following duds. C’mon…don’t you want to walk around on a Sunday with one of these beauties on??? (Okay, maybe not. But it’s the thrill of victory, right?)

PS – if you don’t get the teeshirt on the top left, we need to have a talk….because that movie, my dear friends, made me what I am today.

“Lu-cas! Lu-cas! Lu-cas!”

Why I Hate Sucktastic People and How You Can Spot Them

Is there something in the air these days? I don’t know what’s going on, but people seem to have a propensity to suck this week. Therefore, today’s Tuesday’s Tirade is dedicated to all the sucktastic people I’ve had the displeasure of dealing with recently.

Disclaimer: I by no means deny being completely sucktastic at certain points in my life…namely, in my early teen years. And for that – Mom, Dad, Bro – I’m truly sorry. If it’s any consolation, during my sucktastic years, I was walking around with hair like this:

And so I give you…Why I Hate Sucktastic People and How You Can Spot Them:

• Sucktastic people don’t say “God bless you” when you sneeze, even when you are always saying it to them.
• Sucktastic people think they know everything there is to know about you, without having a clue of who you really are and where you’ve come from.
• Sucktastic people don’t tip. (Ahem…Paris and Britney, I’m talking to YOU.)
• Sucktastic people (and by people, I mean bartenders) give you attitude when you order fruity drinks at the bar. Ummm, if a girl wants a Zima, give the woman a damn Zima! Or a Blueberry Press…my new fav.
• Sucktastic people cut you off when you’re waiting for the treadmill at the gym, then program a two hour-long session on said machine.
• Sucktastic people root for Team Jolie (haha – just jokin’. No I’m not. Yes I am.)
• Sucktastic people pretend they’re better than you when we all know it’s just because their jealous.
• Sucktastic people don’t rewind VHS videos after renting them. (Okay, I know this a shout out to the early ’90s, but didn’t that truly suck when you rented a video and you had to rewind it before you could even watch it???)
• Sucktastic people blame you for hating their job.
• Sucktastic people know they suck, they’re just too afraid to admit it.

And with all that sucktastic venting out of the way, I’m off to bed. Here’s hoping to dreams filled with bunnies, rainbows, and chubby cupids in anticipation of Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

PS – If you are a daily reader of this blog, you are (obviously) the complete opposite of sucktastic. And if I’m missing anything that you think is truly sucktastic, feel free to leave a comment below…